When Young Children Experience Grief and Loss

Grief in young children can be hard to recognise. While adults might cry, talk, or

withdraw, children often show grief in more indirect ways, becoming clingy, acting

out, regressing in behaviour (like bedwetting or separation anxiety), or asking the

same questions again and again. They may dip in and out of sadness quickly,

playing one moment and crying the next. This does not mean the loss has not

touched them deeply, it simply reflects how children process emotions in short,

intense bursts.

For parents and caregivers, it can be painful and confusing to see these shifts. You

might wonder: Do they really understand what has happened? Should I talk about it,

or will that make things worse? These are common worries and the truth is, children

need open, gentle support to make sense of loss. Avoiding the topic can leave them

feeling more uncertain and alone.

Therapy provides a space where children can explore grief safely. Instead of

focusing only on “talking,” therapists often use creative and play-based approaches.

This might include drawing memories, using puppets to ask questions about death,

or making a memory box together. These activities allow children to express complex

feelings without having to find adult words for them.

Just as important is the involvement of parents and caregivers. Therapy helps

families:

• Find age-appropriate ways to explain what has happened.

• Support children through tough questions that may come up repeatedly.

• Keep routines steady while making space for sadness.

• Honour the memory of the loved one in ways that feel meaningful.

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Grief does not disappear for children; it often returns at different stages of

development as their understanding deepens. What we can give them is a

foundation of honesty, comfort, and tools to express themselves. With this support,

children learn that grief is not something to hide or carry alone, but a part of love that

can be held together.